


Hope you'll remember me

by Breadlocked



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Armitage Hux Needs A Hug, Based on a Tumblr Post, First Order loses, Graphic description of damaging the Finalizer, How do I tag?, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, M/M, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, Tragic Romance, a bit of it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-21
Updated: 2017-10-29
Packaged: 2019-01-20 16:08:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12436515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Breadlocked/pseuds/Breadlocked
Summary: The First Order is losing the final battle. Kylo Ren knows that there's a decent chance he'll escape death, maybe even prison, due to his mother but he knows there's no such chance for Hux. So he does something horrible...





	1. The Loss

**Author's Note:**

  * For [solohux](https://archiveofourown.org/users/solohux/gifts).



> Based on the [Anonymous Ask](http://solohux.tumblr.com/post/166618800379/the-first-order-is-losing-the-final-battle-kylo) on Solohux's Tumblr.
> 
> First thing written since forever, first fic posted on AO3.
> 
> Rating may change.

 

They were losing.

The walls shook with the next missiles sent at the Finalizer’s midsection, far too close to the bridge. Deflector shield generators barely held.  
Soon they did not.

The shield wavered. He thought it will last, just like it always did. Then, it dissipated and with it, Hux’s last bits of hope. Just like the two other Resurgent-Class Cruisers that were with them in formation. Now they were being taken apart from the inside, raided.

 

The last two squadrons of TIE-fighters were still responding. Nevertheless, he’d sent the drones out, a bunch of mindless machines as the last, desperate move to possibly damage the Resistance’s X-Wing squadron. The collisions among the drones were common enough to not send them in combat among human TIE pilots. They were not capable of turning the chances in Order’s favour. A simple dummy system was created as the last resort, to keep the enemy at bay for some time, let few people evacuate and for the few remaining pilots to take advantage of the chaos. The casualty counter in his brain was adding more and more people to the pool when he saw another wave of X-Wings coming to chase the TIEs.  
The alarms were blasting through the whole ship. Another one of their ion cannons exploded, making the Finalizer sway, as the trajectory-control system reached critical failure. More red-coloured alerts appeared on all of the consoles around him. There were too few people on the bridge to take care of everything. Instead of thinking about his next move, he kept manually closing the damaged sections of his ship via the main console. All while knowing there might be people there and yet, that he needed to stop the fire and toxic gases from spreading to the other, intact parts of the ship. Same with damaged areas, where he had to close the corridors and rooms to keep them from the cold vacuum of space.  
There should be far more people on the bridge. More than five of them.

 

They were losing and he couldn’t do anything about ones who panicked. They will either go down with the ship or...  
That was the most frustrating moment. One in which he knew he had put all his cards onto the table and had still lost. Snoke has abandoned them. And Ren was nowhere to be found.

 

They were hit again. Powerfully, from the Resistance’s main vessel. The cannon-fire blasted through the unshielded, thick construction of Finalizer, ripping its middle plating into shreds.

“Sergeant, take the remaining crew out of here to the escape pods. Now!” Hux shouted. The men got up and ran, not looking back at him. They knew they could come out of it alive, if Hux was captured. Or dead.

Both of the options were viable.

 

The radar antenna was still intact, which brought the most sickening kind of realisation, as another message from Resistance played from one of the communication consoles on the bridge and possible all of them in other com-rooms on Finalizer.  
_“Give up the Starkiller.”_

The series of explosion shook the walls and even the ceiling from the bridge. A piece of debris from his own ship hit the transparisteel, cracking its outer layer and finally making him look behind the console. The window was still holding and he didn’t know if it was bad luck or not.  
Hux walked towards the head of the bridge, stopping right in front of the cracked transparisteel. The column of Y-Wings flew right in front of the bridge, triumphally dropping bombs over the field of bent durasteel pieces where Finalizer’s front was before. Here was no explosion heard from the outside, yet he knew the groan from ship’s core came because of it. The insides of it were burning, the vacuum pulling everything and everyone out. The alarms kept blasting along with the repeated message for him to give up or his ship will be destroyed, giving him a headache.

 

Still, he could make out the sound of heavy footsteps from all the ear-piercing screeching of new alerts.  
“You should evacuate.” The voice coming through the vocoder made him clench his fists, gloves’ leather creaking.

“And you were supposed to leave more than half of an hour ago.” He almost growled at the presence behind his back. He knew Ren was standing right behind him, waiting for him to say something more than that. The man should have left. Ren had his own Upsilon-type cruiser and even TIE-fighter, the Silencer. Both were docked safely in the hangar on the Finalizer’s belly. Undamaged and hidden, just like they were supposed to be. But it’s too late to get to the hangar in time now.

“Not without you.” Too many feelings behind the words, no longer filtered through the vocoder. Kylo Ren had to take his ridiculous helmet off this time, no matter if Hux was looking at him or not.

“Kriffing romantic. There’s no time for that.” Hux only huffed at other’s words. They’ve spent a lot of time together after the fall of Starkiller Base. He would have said it might have been love, but he wasn’t so sure anymore. He was stronger than this.  
Or not.  
The idiot stayed behind because of whatever feelings he had for him and Hux couldn’t feel anything else but guilt.

 

“You should have listened. Snoke has summoned you a day before. He’d left First Order to be ripped apart by the Resistance.” His voice was far colder than he thought it would be. “I should have seen that coming.” It was just like after the sabotage of his weapon, his Sun-Eater. No help, but an order to leave everything behind and go save the poor apprentice. And then he started to care about Ren too much for his own liking. To make matters worse, his feelings were reciprocated.

“I didn’t know.” Kylo did sound just a little bit guilty. Or thoughtful. “But now you should go with me.”

“Haven’t you noticed what’s going on outside or inside the ship?!” Finally, Hux turned to the other man, rising his voice for the first time since Ren spoke out to him. He’d let the emotions go. His rage, his lack of hope, his frustration and fear. The Resistance soldiers were already boarding whatever was left of the Finalizer, according to the messages sent to the main communication console. They were coming to the bridge for sure, knowing there was someone with high enough clearance still cutting off the damaged sections of the battlecruiser.  
Ren’s gaze swayed away from him for a second before he looked up again, determined, staring right into his eyes.

“I know what to do. I can get us out of it, I promise.”  
It shouldn’t sound so confident and powerful. It should be a plea, a whine or at least said in voice shaking, uncertain. Instead of panicking, Ren apparently had a plan.

“We’re closed-off. The only route to the escape pods is sealed shut and we won’t get to the hangars in time before Resistance and the girl will catch up with us.” He knew Ren could deal with many soldiers at once, yet the scavenger girl had bested him once already. They knew she’d found Skywalker, too… And that could only mean one thing. She’d probably trained, what put Ren’s victory under the question. If he will get out of the ship alive, there’s the High Court and there’s also Resistance’s prison cell. Or a barrel of a blaster gun.  
Ren took a step forward, closing the distance between them and dragging Hux out of his own thoughts by being far too close to keep it decent.

“Trust me, Armitage. I will get us out of here. Promise.” The voice was barely a whisper against his lips as Ren rested gloved hands over his cheeks. The leather was pleasantly cold, but this wasn’t a moment for romantic gestures and Hux was sure that he’d made Ren promise not to use his name outside of their respective bedrooms. Or kiss him anywhere outside of their private rooms.

But...  
He will get them out of there.  
He promised.

 

“I’m sorry…“

He didn’t mention that a sharp pain will come through one side of his head to the other. That he will wail all of sudden. Loudly, for a long time, before the sound would die in another explosion and would matter no more.

 

**\--------------------------------------------**  
  


 

“I will get us out of it. I promise, I will.”  
It was a mantra he kept repeating over and over again while he cradled the man to his chest, gently rocking like he was a baby. He most definitely wasn’t, yet Kylo couldn’t let go of him or stop doing that. Knowing he’d rushed under the pressure wasn’t the most uplifting. He finished with his hands shaking and with Hux leaning motionlessly against the cracked transparisteel window. But the man was alive and Kylo was sure he'd erased every single thing linking him with the Starkiller Base.  
He only hoped the man will remember him in time.

Snoke left the Order as soon as he’ll feel hunted by the Resistance and the Knights knew it would be this way. It happened when the scavenger, Rey, had found his uncle. And he'd simply couldn’t find a way out of the situation before. The handheld communicator laid beside him, from which a reply from Leia Organa had came not so long ago. The soldiers will pick him up soon, along with Hux. She'd promised Ben they won’t kill the general of First Order.  
They definitely won’t do a thing to him, if they’ll see he’s no longer Starkiller they were looking for. That’s what he hoped.  
He had gotten them out alive, no matter the cost.  
“I’m so sorry, Armitage.”

 

The other’s eyes parted then. He'd said something too loud and woke the general up. Blue-green irises turning to him in question.

 

“Who’s Armitage?”


	2. The Revelation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armitage learns about the Starkiller and has a brief laugh about StarWars denying laws of physics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating changed to Teen, some tags were added.
> 
> Thank you for warm welcome and kudos!  
>  
> 
> I suck at summaries.

 

During the last five hours, he’d learnt many things about the man who soldiers called ‘Starkiller’. Apparently Armitage, since this happened to be his name, was this man. The man who had been working for the military totalitarian organisation called The First Order. He was a general of it, too.  
It was hard to swallow. Literally.  
His neck felt constricted, eyes were stinging and it was becoming harder to see on the left one, because of the swelling.

  


It would be good if he’d remember a kriffing thing from all that happened before ‘now’.  
The whole securing protocol, as it was called by the soldiers who captured them, was rather over the edge. As soon as they’ve noticed them, blasters went up and Armitage went down. Forcefully kept flat on the floor by someone’s forearm and elbow for his hands to be put in a weird contraption, buzzing with energy. His arms hurt from the weird angle the soldiers put them at and even more from being dragged up by the cuffs to get on his own two feet.  
The man who’d found him, Ren or Ben – he hadn’t really catch the name right – shouted at the soldiers before he was snapped back at by a man in the hood who, for Armitage, had come out of nowhere. The Ren guy seemed unstable, but, at the same time, rather protective of him. That is, until he vanished behind the closing door of the cell he was dragged to, taken somewhere else by the man in the brown hood.  
Could swear the look Ren gave him meant something more he could grasp at.

  


This was temporary, as he’d noticed the vessel was small enough to be a simple transportation ship.  
How did he end up in this mess?  
He’s stopped asking that particular question after he was hit in the face by the blaster’s stock. Every single bone of his skull seemed to be reminding Armitage of its existence by sending pulses of dull pain. Wave after wave after wave. Neck and back hurt, his cheek hurt and tears pooled in his eyes. Soon they slid down his cheeks, cooling his skin. His left cheek stung, possibly from tear getting into a small cut.

  


He didn’t know what caused him more discomfort. The fact he was laying on his own, cuffed arms, too tired to get up, or the sharp light that streamed into the cell once the door were opened.  
He was too tired to give a damn when they dragged him up by his clothes, leading out of the room. They laughed. They mocked him, pushing onto the corridor’s wall or into next guard, who either grabbed, elbowed or pushed him further down the passageway. They covered his eyes.  
“Look out, here comes the “mighty” Starkiller!”  
“Imperial piece of shit.”  
“Murderer.”  
“Pffasking ginger bastard.”

 

 

Was his hair colour red, then?

 

* * *

 

It was few good minutes of walk, when the blindfold was yanked from his head, leaving him with a scowl. His brows furrowed and eyes forcefully closed because of the sharp light and stinging pain, even if his wrists were soon relieved from the cuffs’ weight, lessening his discomfort. His head was still swimming after at least one collision with the wall too many. Moving fingers didn’t hurt, but left him with a feeling of thousand tiny insects biting against the innermost point on his palms and fingertips, which were nowhere to be found as he moved his hands in front of his eyes and blinked the wetness away.  
A pair of dark boots wasn’t what he thought he’d see past his hand.

“Hux?”  
The figure asked, the boots moved towards him, stopping in front of the line of something shiny, going from top to bottom of the room. He thought it was a cell. His mind whispered the name of thing he was looking at, but he didn’t catch it, even if the pair of shoes, with their owner attached, came as close as possible without touching the energy field barrier. Ah, there it is.  
“Armitage?”  
He rolled to the side, hearing his name. Right side, facing the barrier with his face, so he could make eye contact with the person whose voice was slightly familiar. What was the man’s name again?

“I’m talking to them still. I will figure out what to do next. I’ll get us out of it. I’ll fix you.”  
Armitage lifted himself up on his elbows, forcing himself to keep looking in the direction the voice came from. It was very bright in this room, but there was a chair on the other side of the barrier. Occupied. The man wasn’t wearing the black clothes he remember him having. Instead, a clean shirt and plain trousers, with light brown jacket draped over his arms. It made his hair appear more brown than black, like he remembered.  
“I don’t have much time. I shouldn’t be here, but… I will make it right. Just wait. I’ve already told them every… Kriff!”  
This was apparently a swearword, he thought. Before he could get up, the man left in hurry, turning one the neatly placed chairs a bit more to the right and making the room look disorderly despite it being so scantily furnished. It bugged him.  
Two others came in the man’s place. Others he didn’t know he should be afraid of.

 

* * *

 

“It’s no use.”  
Her voice was calm and steady now. He’d say she sounded concerned, if not the colder tone hidden somewhere there. Few stray hairs came out from her hairdo, resting on her cheek. She seemed tired and in disbelief.

 

They say some people could smell fear, and there was a piece of truth in it. Armitage could sense uncertainty in her, just like she could sense his confusion. The way they’ve perceived each others’ emotions was different, though.  
She felt.  
He observed.

 

And he knew she despised him in some way while pitying his situation, conflicted in her emotions. Her eyes were showing it, like she’d put it all on a plate and presented in front of him. It didn’t look like she was interrogating people often either.  
He didn’t know where he’d learnt to read people, but it was working exceptionally well.

“Just like I thought.” The dark-skinned man, clad in the similar kind of uniform the pilots had, with exception of a worn-out leather jacket, spoke out from the second chair from the left, just next to hers. “He doesn’t behave like himself. He’s not himself.”

 

Her hands were as far from soft as he could imagine for a woman to have, but the touch was soft. The tendrils of unnatural presence in his mind came from her again, poking and prodding. Despite having calloused, dry hands, she was gentle. That’s why he’d let her do what she had to do, even if he felt bare when she did it. She had to get to know what happened. That’s what she’d said before the barrier went down and he was helped to sit in the only chair on his side of the room.  
The young woman was angry at first and Armitage believed that was why she’d started rough, making him gasp and writhe in the chair until she withdrew, panicked and staring at him wide-eyed. She’d given him a piece of cloth to wipe his face then, before starting anew.

 

“He’s… He’s a blank.”  
“We need to tell Luke before they’ll agree on doing something worse.”  
“The general won’t believe what happened to him anyway. She didn’t believe when he’d told her before.”  
“But he doesn’t know who Leia Organa is! Not to mention the Skywalker. He doesn’t even recognize himself. Or Ren.”  
“Ben.”  
“I don’t believe that he’d changed sides. He’s still the same... You saw him killing Han!”  
“I know, Finn! But what if he had no choice? We know it’s Snoke who’s behind all of this. Luke told me he was not bound to the dark side.”

They spoke like he wasn’t there. Just a prop, hearing about all the new names and what had apparently happened in the past. Finally, the dark-skinned man, Finn, sighed out and lifted his arms in a very specific gesture, meaning he’s giving up. They didn’t know what to do with him.

 

“Have I really killed all those people..?”

 

 

He’d heard people talking about Starkiller, both like about a man and a machine in one. He knew he was no machine, could feel it inside him, even if at the back of his head something “programmed” called out. The two of them didn’t have any answer to provide him.  
Dark-skinned man, who the girl kept calling Finn, remained with him while she’d gotten up and left the too-bright interrogation room.  
“What do you remember?”  
He shrugged, not having an answer to that.

The man started speaking about battles, TIE-fighters, X-wings, finalizers and resurgent-class-somethings. With every next thing, his eyes appeared to grow wider and he was more and more confused, shaking his head slowly. The troops in white armour, the whole squadrons, the shiny chrome of his Captain’s armour, harvested from the hull of some legendary ship. The bite of the cold of the planet they’ve settled on.  
Finn mentioned Starkiller, which was apparently such a planet and yet, it wasn’t. The construction underneath the surface of ice and snow, with dense cover of fir trees hiding metal plating and core made of something called kyber. It had apparently drained one of the star’s energy, making it expand and turn vicious red from the loss of energy in its core, a so-called Red Giant.  
At some point, Armitage laughed.  
“You can’t possibly make me believe a machine like this can kill a star.”

 

 

It did. And the energy harvested from one of the medium-sized stars was sent towards five other planets, destroying them. He’d seen the projection they had of it.  
He couldn’t believe it was possible. The shift and transfer of energy of such kind defied laws of universal physics known by him. Not like he remembered where did he learn about physics and science, yet it didn’t sound possible at all.  
It all felt like a dream, a nightmare, except for the hours of talk, what was supposed to be interrogation. The man, Finn, came out of it more shaken than he did, even if he was shown the footage. Planets burned, the sun expanded, surely changing climate of the worlds surrounding it. Desolation came with the blast dividing itself into five rays and also from the change of weather, with raging electrical storms and weather anomalies, sending more than few worlds into chaos.  
They wanted to put him in trial for that. It would be less of a trial and more of an execution.

 

With a blindfold over eyes, the soldiers dragged him down yet another corridor. His legs didn’t catch up with the pace they kept, stumbling either over themselves or over people’s feet, what caused him to land on his knees or hit his arm against the durasteel wall. The soldiers laughed when he landed face-flat onto the floor, arms cuffed behind his back. A taste of iron appeared in his mouth and he whimpered.  
Under his eyelids played an image of cities and people turned into ash, the planets bursting into pieces, their cores expanding, exploding outwards into space.  
He believed his head will look very similar, after being hit by a blaster bolt.

 

 

To his relief, the next thing that had met him was yet another cold floor.

**Author's Note:**

> edit:  
> The work will be continued, thanks to the very warm comments and encouragement from my friend.


End file.
